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Before we delve into exploring sexual behavior challenges, keep in mind that you should always think of students from a whole-person point of view. This means that student’s behavior and development, no matter how disruptive or delayed, are only parts of who they are. It can be easy, given the sensitive nature of sexual development and behavior, to focus in on student’s problems rather than thinking more openly about their uniqueness and strengths. This whole-person point of view should be reflected in both how you see the student as well as the language you use to describe the student. Remember that student’s behavior communicates messages, and an important part of your work as an educator is to interpret these messages so you develop a deep understanding of students’ lives, how they relate to the world around them, and the best ways to support their learning and growth.

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Sexual Behavior Challenges: Cautionary and Problematic

Now that you have a base of knowledge for normative sexual development and behavior in students, you may be wondering about development and behavior that is not normative. Perhaps you have observed sexual behavior in your classrooms that doesn’t seem to fit into the normative category or wasn’t easily redirected. Let’s start by defining sexual behavior problems, which we will refer to throughout the course as sexual behavior challenges.

Remember that sexual behavior in students occurs on a continuum, and what is cautionary for one student may be normative for another student and context. Review the table from Lesson One to remind yourself of the general characteristics of each type of sexual behavior.

As you learn more about sexual behavior challenges, the lines can become even more blurry, especially when considering factors such as student’s intentions and functions for behavior.  Review the table below for examples of cautionary and problematic sexual behavior arranged by developmental stage. Keep in mind that these examples are guidelines, not clear-cut, hard-and-fast rules. What is normative sexual behavior versus a sexual behavior challenge may vary depending on various factors (culture and family, development, intention, frequency and participation, environment, effect on others, and ease of redirection).

Adapted from Military OneSource and Responding to Problem Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People.)

Examining our own biases based on personal experiences with sexual development is important when working with students experiencing sexual behavior challenges. What are your initial feelings about the behaviors described? Perhaps you’ve observed some of these behaviors in your school; you may feel shocked or upset. While it is upsetting to think of students in some of the circumstances described, your knowledge around these topics builds understanding and awareness. It is difficult to give an estimate for how common sexual behavior problems are in students because there are not definite descriptions for what is normative versus a sexual behavior challenge. Some research suggests 2 to 3 percent of children will demonstrate sexual behaviors problems (Carpentier et al., 2006; Chaffin et al., 2008). It is likely that you will encounter students with sexual behavior challenges at some point during your work in education. The more informed you are about these behaviors, their complex nature, and how to respond, the more supportive you can be to these students and their families.

Behavior Communicates Messages

Take some time to think about sexual behavior challenges from the perspective of students, and remember that all behavior communicates meaning and messages. When students have sexual behavior challenges, what messages do you think they are trying to communicate? As you explore this question, it may be helpful to think generally about challenging behavior. “Acting out,” “disobeying,” and “inappropriate behavior” are often the result of students lacking the developmental and relationship-building skills needed to meet the expectations of the adults around them. When students have sexual behavior challenges, they often are trying to communicate the following messages:

As you reflect on the statements above, how do these messages influence your thoughts about students with sexual behavior challenges? What do you do to model appropriate communication and behavior for your students? Do you see cautionary and problematic sexual behaviors as “acting out,” “disobeying,” and “inappropriate?” Or do you suspect students with sexual behavior challenges feel confused, scared, and unsure of themselves? If you have observed sexual behavior challenges in your classroom, think back on those experiences and the messages those students may have been trying to communicate. Consider what messages your behavior communicates when you respond to sexual behavior challenges and be mindful of what you are modeling. Though we do not view sexual behavior challenges as ideal for a student’s development and well-being, some students may have had experiences where these behaviors are adaptive for them or provide them something they need. For example, some children engage in sexual behaviors to cope with trauma or to gain relational closeness with others (Gilgum, 2006).

Risk Factors for Sexual Behavior Challenges

Sexual behavior challenges occur in students for a variety of reasons, and there are often multiple factors that contribute to students having these behaviors. There are no specific pathways that lead to sexual behavior challenges, but some circumstances are risk factors that increase the likelihood of sexual behavior challenges in students:

When Sexual Behavior in Students May be a Sign of Abuse

Some of the risk factors for sexual behavior challenges are also risk factors for child abuse and neglect. Nevertheless, it is important not to assume that students with sexual behavior problems have also been abused. There are many instances where students with no history of abuse or neglect have sexual behavior challenges. Be sure to review your school’s policies and procedures for making mandated reports. Understandably, reporting abuse is often stressful and upsetting for educational professionals. If you are unsure whether you should make a report or if you feel you need support after making a report, speak with a trusted colleague, school counselor, or administrator. Remember that it is not your role to determine if abuse has actually occurred. You have fulfilled your duty as a mandated reporter and possibly stopped child abuse from further occurring when you report suspected and definitive child abuse and neglect.  

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Students with sexual behavior challenges benefit most when adults recognize they have these challenges early. Listen as experts describe sexual behavior challenges, risk factors that may make students more susceptible, and protective factors or conditions that help children and adolescents overcome sexual behavior challenges.

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Language Matters: Speaking about Students with with Sexual Behavior Challenges

Think back to the reflective opportunities in Lesson One of this course when you thought about your own experiences and beliefs on sexual development and behavior in students. You learned that there are a wide range of cultural and personal beliefs around this topic that influence one’s comfort level and also frame reactions to sexual behavior in students. Keep this in mind when you communicate with coworkers and families about students with sexual behavior challenges. Similar to when you speak about students with disabilities, use person-first language. For example, “Lora has a history of sexual behavior challenges” is preferred over, “Lora is a problem student,” “sex offender,” “abuser,” or “sexual predator.” The language used to describe students with sexual behavior challenges affect how your school’s community and other systems of support, such as child welfare and law enforcement, make decisions. As an educator, it is paramount to communicate with student-first language versus terms that would be used in a legal setting. A term such as “sex offender” can have specific meaning to someone in law enforcement who may have little or no training in child development. A sex offender is a legal term for someone convicted of a sexual offense. What messages do we send students when we label them in this way? How do you think students feel when they are called terms such as “deviant?” Students, their families, and the community may interpret some terms to mean that these students are bad rather than guiding them to understand that what they did was wrong, but it does not mean they are bad students or bad children, adolescents, or young adults. There may be times when a student is found guilty regarding a sexually based offense that occurs while they are in your class or before they enter your classroom. Again, remember to use student-first language and recognize that many of the details of the offense may be kept confidential. Students can be convicted and labeled a sex offender for sending a nude photo of themselves because they are legally considered to have created and shared child pornography. Each state handles sexually based offenses differently, and it is important to reflect on the variability of offenses without passing judgment. Shaming students can deeply affect their social-emotional well-being, academics, and future behaviors. Review the table below for student-first language versus legal terms for students with sexual behavior challenges. 

Preventing Sexual Behavior Challenges through Community-Wide Safe Media & Technology Use

Think about the ever-present role of media and technology in our lives. As it becomes more common for families to have various electronic devices in their homes and for students to spend increasing amounts of time on them, many students’ access to sexually explicit content occurs earlier and through more mediums (TV, social media, internet search, print). Even in family environments where there is close supervision of students and their media use, it is impossible to control everything students are exposed to.

Peers can heavily influence the sexual knowledge of other students. Students with more knowledge and exposure to sexual content through media may talk about what they’ve seen and heard with peers, and the sexual knowledge of one student in your school can influence the sexual knowledge of many other students.

Let’s consider how media use affects the severity or type of sexual behavior. Elementary-age students might engage in, “show me yours, and I’ll show you mine” behavior and expose their private parts to each other. Middle and high school students may find sexually explicit images or pornography. On their own, each example is a normative sexual behavior driven by curiosity and is likely harmless. If one of the students in either situation used a tablet and began to take pictures of student’s genitals, this becomes a much more serious concern and under some laws may be considered child pornography. While you cannot control what happens in families’ homes, family life experiences affect student’s knowledge and behavior while in your school. Building awareness of the effects media exposure may have on sexual behavior creates a school community that is more knowledgeable on how to prevent sexual behavior challenges. Again, think about active supervision of electronics (e.g., smartphones, tablets, and computers) in your classroom. What is your school’s policy on student electronics? Your classroom policy? Consider how you can manage the use of technology to make sure that students use it safely.