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The factors that go into developing who we become are endless. Our family traditions, cultural beliefs, customs, environment, location, and economic status are some of the major factors that play a role in how we develop as individuals. It is important to remember that all children are individuals with varied backgrounds, family beliefs, and life experiences. This is true also among those who share important experiences or beliefs (e.g., the same religion, race, or hometown).

Think of the many experiences you have had that influence your life and outlook. You may have family traditions, customs, beliefs, and values that you developed growing up. Some families share cultural traditions that center on religion, holidays, or other beliefs. These traditions might be attending worship services, playing cultural games, gathering for specific events, or following a set of behaviors that adhere to one’s belief system. There are other factors beyond culture and religion that can be included when thinking about experiences that influence children. Perhaps a family prioritizes spending time in nature and takes their children camping and hiking. Athletics, political beliefs, and occupations are often woven through families and children’s experiences. For example, many families have long legacies of military service, teaching, or being fans of a particular sports team. What experiences from your childhood have influenced your identity?

Experiences and Activities that Promote Children’s Sense of Self

Children in your family child care program need daily opportunities in a safe and supportive environment to participate in experiences and activities that allow them to explore and celebrate the person they are growing to be. As you meaningfully engage children in this process of self-discovery and identity, you should provide them with multiple, ongoing opportunities to explore their interests, interact with exciting materials, try out new things, and learn. You may already have an “All About Me” or “My Family” corner in your family child care, and you may make time in your program to explore diversity, children’s interests, or unique talents. You should embed such opportunities for promoting a healthy sense of self and identity throughout every day in your program.

There are many ways to help the children in your care feel important, understood, confident, and successful. The chart below lists some. Which of these could you add to or increase in your daily teaching practices?

Developing Children’s Interests

Biographies of writers, athletes, musicians, or actors often indicate that they began their crafts as children. Whether children’s interests stick with them through adulthood or not, the activities and experiences that you plan for children are very important to the development of their sense of self. As older children develop a sense of self, they are trying out new activities and experiences to understand what they’re good at, what they enjoy, and what their friends and others around them enjoy. According to the Council on Accreditation Standards for After School and Youth Development Programs, providers should:

• Recognize and support the range of interests and talents in children.
• Recognize and respond to the range of children’s feelings and temperaments.
• Demonstrate interest in and relate to children’s cultures and languages.
   

It is important to include the documented needs and observed interests of children when creating activity plans. Children will enjoy sharing their own ideas for activities and experiences and helping you create plans. You can help support children’s interests in a variety of ways:

• Include a variety of activities that are always available, such as art, writing, reading, building, dramatic play, and discovery. Keep these areas stocked with materials and rotate supplemental materials to keep them fresh. Always allow for creative experiences to occur within the environment.
• Be flexible and attuned to the changing needs and interests of the children. Observe how children are using the materials and encourage their creativity and imagination.
• Help children to become engaged and focused on an activity. Provide them with necessary time, space, materials, and direction to fully carry out their ideas.
• Watch and listen intentionally, and children will share their interests with you. Try to include the interests of the children whenever possible, even if they seem strange, too complicated, or boring to you.
• Let children showcase their talents and skills. Older children can provide demonstrations and lessons on a specific talent or interest that they can share with others.

Long-Term Projects

Project-based learning helps to support children on their journeys of developing a positive sense of self. Projects encourage curiosity, cooperation, focus, determination, creativity, and the joy of discovery. Projects can take a variety of forms. They can be child-led, where the children decide on the project and work to create the steps or phases needed to complete the goal. For this type of project, they may be completing a long-term art project, planning a talent show, or conducting experiments to test a scientific theory. Projects can also be created and directed by family or community members. These types of projects might be creating and maintaining a garden or working together to solve problems that affect all the children in your care. Whether child- or adult-initiated, the children need to be invested in the project and the work surrounding it. All projects have a goal that is being worked toward, take an extended period of time to complete, and typically have some sort of documentation that is completed along the way to show progress.

For example, children interested in airplanes might learn to fold paper airplanes. The caregiver might take a stronger role for this part, by checking out books with paper airplane designs from the library, and teaching children how to fold the paper. She might also encourage children to try their own designs and help them measure and record how far they fly. This may lead to creating a runway, and then the desire to make an airport. The teacher might support this interest by collecting more books with photographs of airplanes and airports and inviting a pilot in to talk to the children. From here, the children may take the lead and want to set up an airport in their classroom. They may decide that the two important parts of an airport are the luggage conveyer belt and the television screens on the back of the plane seats and set to work creating those. The project can continue as long as children are engaged.

Older children might start a project on a nearby playground. If a friend uses a walker or has a temporary disability like a broken leg, they might discover that the playground is difficult or impossible to use. From here they might draw playgrounds that would be accessible and fun and do research on playgrounds and companies that make playground equipment. Some children might be motivated to build models of their designs, and other children might write to the city council to urge them to make the playgrounds more accessible. Other children may begin noticing that the local pool or other community spaces aren’t fully accessible, and start collecting data to share with others.  

Projects help support a positive sense of self and children’s overall development because they encourage:

• Intrinsic motivation: Whether the initial spark comes from the children or the adults, the children need to be interested and invested for the project to happen. Children need to be intrinsically-motivated or inspired to pursue the project from within themselves (Gillet et al., 2012), rather than because an adult requires it or will impose a reward if they do (or consequence if they don’t). Children are self-directed to plan and take the steps necessary, learn through the experience, enjoy the process, and feel pride in their work.
• Deep investigation: Projects allow children to think creatively and critically. They often require solving problems or overcoming challenges, either through the nature of the project (e.g., “How can I make a plane that flies really far?” “How can we make the playground more accessible?”) or through the process (e.g., “How should we make a conveyer belt?” “Where do I send a letter to city council?”). Learning and growth comes from the process, not the product, and digging into these challenges allows children to discover, investigate, and collect valuable information and experiences.
• Child initiation: In many educational processes, adults are leading the way, whether preparing children for proficiency exams or reading a book aloud. Projects allow children to take the reins to lead their learning. They can decide on topics, phases, methods of documentation, and goals. You take on the role of coach and encourage children’s initiative, by providing the materials they need, asking questions, documenting their learning, and helping them learn the skills they need to achieve their goals.
• Curiosity: The wonder and passion found in children is demonstrated by their avid curiosity for the world around them. They want to take information in and find a way to understand what it means to them. Children are born naturally curious about their world; it is the job of the adults around them to support and maintain it. Projects are a way to encourage this curiosity in a productive and creative way.

Embracing Culturally Responsive Experiences

Culturally responsive experiences are those that help children see both themselves and others represented in your program. This can mean opportunities for self-reflection and expression, as well as broad exposure to people, ideas, and experiences from around the country and world. Exposure to the many different ways to “be” sparks healthy curiosity and empathy in children. This includes racial and ethnic identity, religion, language, gender identity and expression, ability/disability, and family structure, but it can also include important life experiences such as living on a military installation, being an only child, or transitioning to kindergarten.

Embracing Anti-Bias Education

Anti-bias education has been mischaracterized and misunderstood at times, but its foundation is simple: active and authentic respect and care for oneself and for others. To understand anti-bias education, it may be helpful to reflect on the impact of an anti-bias program. In the words of Louise Derman-Sparks (2010, p.1), “In the anti-bias classroom, children learn to be proud of themselves and their families, to respect human differences, to recognize bias, and to speak up for what is right.” These are outcomes that most educators would agree are important, but it takes a great deal of intentionality and self-reflection to make them a reality.

Bias is the feeling or demonstration of prejudice for or against someone or something. Implicit bias is the same, without the individual being consciously aware of the bias (Implicit bias, n.d.). Anti-bias educators work every day to be thoughtful about the subtle ways bias is embedded into systems and experiences. They are mindful of the impact that media, program materials, and their own word choice have on children’s development of self. They plan experiences around four main goals of anti-bias education (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010):

1. Each child will demonstrate self-awareness, confidence, family pride, and positive social identities. This is the foundation of anti-bias education and must be addressed before the other goals. Programs do this by making sure (a) all families and family structures are visible and respected in the program, (b) children see themselves in the materials and curriculum, and (c) children have experiences that let them explore race, culture, language, and economic differences.
2. Each child will express comfort and joy with human diversity, accurate language for human differences, and deep, caring human connections. Programs do this by embracing and exploring the similarities and differences within each child’s environment, program, and—eventually—community. They help children learn about people as unique individuals, while also respecting the shared cultures and identities that are important to each individual.
3. Each child will increasingly recognize unfairness, have language to describe unfairness, and understand that unfairness hurts. Children are well-attuned to what is fair or unfair. They feel the injustice and hurt when a toy is taken away, or they get pushed down. How caregivers respond to and help children to speak up for themselves and others, influences the degree of agency children feel about responding to unfairness in circumstances beyond their learning environment.
4. Each child will demonstrate empowerment and the skills to act, with others or alone, against prejudice or discriminatory actions. This final goal is where anti-bias education “gets to work.” If children are to truly respect and care for themselves and others, we need to help them respond when they or someone else is hurt or mistreated. Young children might demonstrate this when they say, “Boys can too be teachers!” or “Don’t touch my hair.” Older children might fundraise to buy more diverse books for their school library or write letters to city council urging them to invest in playgrounds accessible for all children.

We encourage you to explore the readings in the References & Resources section for practical ideas and reflection on anti-bias education.

Embracing Multiple Social Identities

Children are beginning to develop a complex sense of self and learn that they can have multiple social identities. Each child in your program is much more than their gender, age, race, family income, or physical features, as proud and strongly as children may feel about these components of who they are. While some children may be encouraged to strongly identify with these parts of their identities, it’s important to remember that all children have multiple identities, and identities can shift with time. For example, you may have a child in your family child care program who thinks of herself as Black, a girl, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a “math-person”, and a dog-lover. Another child may think of himself as a big brother, a really good runner, and an almost-kindergartener.

You can support and expand how children see themselves by pointing out their positive traits and interests. Encouraging children to embrace their multiple social identities develops their sense of self and helps them become more flexible when thinking about both who they are and who others are. Caregivers do this when they say, “Look at that ‘M’! You’re getting to be a really good writer!” and “You saw how sad Millie was, and knew her rabbit would help her feel better. What a thoughtful, caring guy you are.”

Remember reading above about implicit bias? Adults send messages about their and other’s identities often without realizing it. Imagine a caregiver greeting a young child at the door and saying, “Would you like to play with the boys at the racetrack, or paint over here with the girls?” Now compare that to this message: “Would you like to play at the racetrack, or paint over here?” Remember what you’ve learned about young children’s sense of self, particularly that they tend to describe themselves primarily in terms of physical characteristics and abilities. The first message suggests to the child that they should choose the play area that matches their gender. In contrast, the second message does not include this suggestion; the gender of the children is irrelevant to the play options, and so isn’t mentioned. Messages like the first can limit children’s social identities, while messages like the second allow children’s identities to expand.

Children who recognize their multiple identities may develop better problem-solving skills and a better ability to collaborate with others. This helps them come up with more and creative solutions to everyday problems. For example, a child who is a flexible and creative problem-solver may recognize that there are no more aprons in the dramatic play area, and instead may fashion an “apron” out of a baby blanket.  When children see themselves as having multiple and flexible identities, they will feel more equipped and confident to respond to a variety of challenges.

Embracing Character

As highlighted in Lesson One, our sense of self includes the roles, attributes, behaviors, and associations that we consider most important about ourselves (Ylvisaker, 2006). Character and personality traits influence who we are as individuals; these are cultivated and nurtured through our interactions with others and shape our current and future lives.

Your program may use a formal character education curriculum, such as Character Counts (The Six Pillars, 2021). This curriculum proposes six pillars of character. Whether you use this or any character education curriculum, consider how witnessing and demonstrating these six pillars would influence children’ positive sense of self, healthy relationships, and pride in their identities. Likewise, how do you actively demonstrate these virtues as a caregiver?

Character can be taught in both formal and informal ways. You can plan activities and experiences that are purposeful and intend to teach a specific trait. You may do this, for example, if you notice children are having difficulty being responsible for materials and their personal items. You could plan an activity to teach responsibility and care for materials to help children with everyday routines and transitions. Another idea is organizing a civic-minded project for children to participate in, like a playground clean-up or working together to make blankets for a homeless shelter. Finding a way for children to be a part of their community by volunteering can be a powerful and effective ways to build character. Take a few minutes to think about how these six pillars can shape your decision-making, your interactions with children, and your work broadly.

Strengthening Families

Families are critical partners in your programs. By serving children and families, you have a commitment to respect families and to help each child feel proud of their identities and culture. Recall these family-centered practices that were introduced in the Family Engagement course:

These practices help families feel respected and valued. They also help families gain confidence and a sense of purpose in your program.

Families everywhere go through times when they need help accessing information to help them navigate challenging circumstances, and you may be the person to help. A family member may have a question or concern, and you may be asked to provide information, suggestions, or recommendations about a variety of topics, such as child development, challenging behavior, literacy, in- and out-of-school activities, community connections, healthcare providers, and so forth. Sometimes you may have answers, and sometimes you may have to look for answers. When a family member shares a need or concern with you, always respect their privacy.

Cultural practices deeply influence how adults support children’s development of self. All children develop in the context of their cultural background and their family’s values. It is important that you demonstrate respect for each family and child enrolled in your program even if their ways are unfamiliar to you or contrast with your practices. You will need to build relationships with each family to understand their values, beliefs, and circumstances. Likewise, having written policies and program rules posted can assist family members in understanding the caregiving practices their children will encounter in your family child care program. Make sure this information is accessible to all families by making it available in multiple languages and formats.

Demonstrating mutually respectful and trusting relationships for all children and families must always be your goal. Your role is critical to maintaining a warm, responsive environment where children feel safe to develop their sense of self.

Relationships are Essential

As you’ve learned throughout this course, relationships with important adults are the key to children’s sense of self and their social/emotional well-being, which in turn is the foundation for their long-term success in relationships, school, and beyond. As a family child care provider, you have the opportunity to help children learn how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. You do this through modeling, encouragement, and positive guidance. According to the Council on Accreditation Standards for After School and Youth Development Programs, providers should engage with children and interact with them in positive ways to:

• Help children feel welcome, comfortable, and supported
• Recognize positive accomplishments
• Treat all children with respect
• Listen to what children say and respond to them with interest, acceptance, and appreciation
• Be consistent and follow through on what you say you will do

Reducing Stress in Yourself and Children

As highlighted in Lesson Three, taking care of yourself and thinking about your own wellness is as significant as taking care and providing for those around you. It is important to be able to acknowledge signs of stress in yourself and others. The table below identifies signs of stress in adults.

When you see signs of stress in yourself, take action. You will find “stress busting” resources in the Apply section.

As you develop your skill at managing your own stress, you should also observe the children in your program for signs of stress. The first steps in responding to stress are to recognize when there is a problem and to help access resources. Look for these signs of stress in children:

See

Watch as these providers describe what they do for self-care and the importance of it in their work.

Do

As you’ve learned throughout this course, relationships with important adults are the key to children’s sense of self and their social/emotional well-being, which in turn is the foundation for their long-term success in relationships, school, and beyond. As a family child care provider, you have the opportunity to help children learn how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. You do this through modeling, encouragement, and positive guidance. According to the Council on Accreditation Standards for After School and Youth Development Programs, staff members should engage with children and interact with them in positive ways:

• Help children feel welcome, comfortable, and supported
• Recognize positive accomplishments
• Treat all children with respect
• Listen to what children say and respond to them with interest, acceptance, and appreciation
• Be consistent and follow through on what you say you will do
• Offer assistance in a way that supports initiative, without taking control
• Give children opportunities to choose what they will do, how they will do it, and with whom they engage
• Assist children in making informed and responsible choices