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Directions: How you define developmentally appropriate versus challenging behavior is unique to each individual child. Read the case study about Lena to learn how her family’s expectations affect her behavior in a child care program and then answer the follow-up questions. Share your responses with your trainer, coach, or administrator. 

Case Study: Lena

Lena is nearly 3 years old and began attending a child care program two months ago. This is her first experience in care outside her family, and Lena has adjusted well to the program. She loves to color, look at books, and ride the tricycles. She frequently snuggles up to Katherine, a toddler caregiver, and requests to read books. Katherine thinks Lena is a very social and typical child except for one concern— Lena is still dependent on staff members to feed her at mealtimes. Lena will occasionally use her hands to eat finger foods, but she mostly expects Katherine to put the food in her mouth and is uninterested in using a spoon and fork. Katherine has modeled how to use utensils for Lena and has also attempted to provide hand-over-hand support, which Lena resists. The staff have occasionally observed Lena independently using utensils, so they know she is capable.

Katherine and Lena’s other caregivers have decided they are no longer going to help Lena eat. They feel that they are enabling this behavior and that learning to feed oneself is an important self-help skill. In fact, it is one of the questions on the Ages & Stages Questionnaire, a screening tool used in the program. When Lena approaches her caregivers, expecting them to feed her, they respond, “You’re a big kid now, use your fork and spoon like all your friends.” This upsets Lena and she will throw a major tantrum. Lena will eventually eat, but she only uses her hands, even for foods such as yogurt and mashed potatoes. Katherine has become frustrated and feels this is a challenging behavior.   

Katherine speaks with Lena’s parents, Priya and Simon. Katherine shares her observation, what she has tried to do to help Lena, and Lena’s response when the staff do not feed her. Priya and Simon say they feed Lena at home. Priya explains that she is Indian, and it is typical for Indian parents to feed their children well into elementary school. She further explains that in Indian culture, hand feeding children is a way to nurture and show affection. Simon spoke of how they went through this same situation with Ben, their 7-year-old. When Ben was in preschool, he eventually learned that using utensils at mealtime was the expectation for that environment. Ben’s preschool teachers didn’t force the issue or mind if he made a mess when using his hands, and they always made sure utensils were available for him. Eventually, Ben realized that his friends used forks and spoons and he decided that he wanted to as well. Priya and Simon said they still sometimes hand feed Ben at home, when he requests. Katherine tries to appear understanding, but to her this is very odd parenting behavior. She doesn’t understand why Priya and Simon do not value Lena learning to be more independent. Katherine is concerned that when Lena transitions to a preschool room, Lena’s new caregivers will think Katherine didn’t bother to teach Lena how to use a fork and spoon and think poorly of her caregiving skills.

Follow-Up Questions

1.  In this case study, Lena is almost 3 years old. What behavior and skills do you expect to observe in children during mealtime at this phase of development?
   • Most children at this phase are able to independently feed themselves using their hands and utensils. They may use a whole-hand grasp, switch between right and left hands, and be quite messy but generally do not need for adults to put food in their mouths.
   • Children at this phase may still become upset with changes in their routines, especially if they do not understand why.
   • Children this age often copy the behavior of others.

    
2. What do you know about Lena’s behavior and interests while in the child care program.
   • Lena is a typical and social child and has a variety of interests.
   • Lena expects the caregivers in the program to feed her, even though they know she is capable of doing this independently.
   • Lena gets upset when Katherine and the other caregivers do not help her. She eventually eats but despite encouragement, does not use utensils.

    
3. What do you know about the social and cultural context of Lena’s family culture and expectations, Katherine, and the child care program?
   • Family Culture: Feeding children well into elementary school is typical for Lena’s family. Priya and Simon don’t mind when Lena asks for them to feed her. In fact, they think of this as an opportunity to provide nurture and care. The family went through this same situation with their older child, and Ben eventually learned that in program/school environments people use utensils at meals. Priya and Simon don’t seem to think of Lena’s requests as an issue.
   • Katherine: It does not seem like Katherine has encountered this behavior before, especially for a child who is capable of doing this skill independently. She finds Priya and Simon’s parenting behavior to be odd and she may highly value children learning to be independent. Katherine likely has not worked with families who value a more collective and nurturing mealtime, and her own family probably has different mealtime expectations for children this age.  
   • Program: It seems like the preschool staff expect children to eat with utensils when they transition to those rooms. Perhaps some staff place judgement on other staff members when children’s behavior does not match their program’s expectations.

    
4. If you were Katherine, how would you respond to Priya and Simon? To Lena’s behavior?
   • I would thank Priya and Simon for sharing a bit about their family life and culture. The response of Ben’s teachers, when he was in preschool, seemed to encourage him to use utensils at meals without him and the family feeling there was something “wrong” with the way they do things at home. I’d suggest that the child care staff take a similar approach used by Ben’s preschool and see how Simon and Priya felt about this.
   • After the conversation with Lena’s family, I would communicate what I learned about the family’s values and practices, in addition to what worked for Ben with my teaching team.
   • During meals, I would make sure utensils were available to Lena and say something like, “Lena, here’s your fork and spoon,” but not force the issue or draw more attention to it. I would make sure that Lena has plenty of other opportunities to affectionately engage with the staff, such as when she requests to snuggle and read books.
   • Katherine can take this experience to think more openly about the wide-range of parenting and family practices and reflect on the fact that there is not one right way.

    
5. How might Katherine reappraise her thoughts on Lena’s family?
   • Instead of thinking about this as odd parenting behavior and questioning the family’s ability to help their children learn, Katherine can appreciate that this is an opportunity to learn about the diverse ways families nurture and show affection to their children.